The Greatest Self-Defense System
Known to Man

I was always getting picked on so I decided that I had to learn karate. I wanted to learn that move where you would pull out your opponent's still beating heart and show it to him before he died. One reason that never happened was because I knew I'd be in a TON of trouble. The other reason was that I would send in my quarter thinking I was joining karate school and then all they would send me were brochures saying that I had to send in even more money. Hey, what about the quarter I sent you? Where are the deadly secrets? wtf???